Yeah. Good things. There are a lot of them. To go into mote detail, when Geordie Maple was here & I was driving about the place I gelt the first stirrings of love for Bute. Yes, there's very little potential for a job and there are still moments when I wonder what the hell I'm doing here, but now - on this upswing - the world's a beautiful place.
Another good thing: Suvari.
I've been emailing her on and off for a few
months now. She's in the UK from South Africa and we struck up a real rapport on email and MSN. There are some rare people you just connect with. Meet their mind. Her sense of humour, her darkness, her touch of oddity are all so similar to mine it's almost like meeting a reflection. Only nicer.
She came up for a visit and I took her for a jaunt about the countryside in truly shitty weather. She made me laugh - a lot. And I appreciate that more than I can possibly say, right now. We also talked several hind legs off several donkeys, ate with gusto at the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar, and laughed our heads off at the Inveraray jail. No, we didn't get arrested. It's a tourist attraction, complete with compulsory poor-bastard-actors who have to pretend to be inmates and end up being mocked by South African lesbians.
After lunch we went to Benmore and walked through the gardens in a downpour until we sought shelter under a beech tree and lay on our backs listening to the rain pattering on the leaves. We were (almost) perfectly dry. The smell from the earth was dark and warm, and the grey light was almost luminous. One of those moments where you don't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. It was just lovely.
So, yes. Suvari. She is a very good thing.
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Bute-opia
It's been a while since blogging, and it seems wise to get some thoughts down on the blogosphere. Recent events have made me feel a bit more settled, and I'm feeling more positive than I have in a while. This isn't to say it won't all plummet to a miserable low in another 12 seconds - but hey, that's living, eh?
First off - the negatives. I still don't have a job. I got fucked around something chronic by Mount Stuart. I went to them for two different jobs - a catering assistant in their restaurant, and an admin assistant in their estate offices. Unfortunately, the head chef, in a bid to be helpful, told the admin woman that I was a historian and would be useful in the house. She meant it as a 'strong recommendation' but actually what happened was that the admin woman just took my name out of the running for the admin job and palmed my CV off to the woman in charge of the house - doing guided tours and whatnot. I never wanted to do guided tours of the house, but beggars can't be choosers after all. Unfortunately, when I got there, it turned out the job they were offering was 'room steward.' This didn't even involve talking to people about the house. It was a job mostly given to students in need of petty cash, on a call-in basis, and involves standing in rooms making sure people don't nick stuff, break stuff, or defecate in corners. The woman was pretty embarrassed about the mix-up, and I was fucked off. I couldn't go for the admin job because the interviews were happening on the same day. But the woman promised to hand my CV in to the office and, if something came up, I might be given a call.
Lo and behold, yesterday I missed a telephone call from Mount Stuart offices, asking me to call them back. So I did - this morning. I couldn't get hold of the right woman, so she was supposed to call back. She didn't, so I called again. Not in. Then she called me - and I missed her. So I called her. Out to lunch. Fuck's SAKE!! But eventually she got hold of me ... only to tell me that there were no jobs available, but thank you for coming for the interview.
Son of a BITCH. Like I didn't already fucking KNOW that. I knew that on the day, when we looked at each other and said "this job really isn't for you/me." And it was stupid to feel upset, but I tend to feel my hopes running away with me. I'm looking for some ideas of what's going to happen to my life - where it's going to be, what I'm going to be doing - and any sign of a plan fills me with reassurance. So to raise my hopes even a little only to have them dashed is a bit of a kick in the teeth. And it's happened twice with Mount Stuart now. Bastardos.
BUT ... let's look at some positives.
1. Yesh is lovely.
2. I've had wonderful visits from friends - including Lime Basil and her ex, and from Geordie Maple. Geordie was particularly fun - we went up to Inveraray, climbed to the monument, had lunch at Loch Fyne, wandered the ruins of St Blanes on Bute, got pissed in the Anchor, and talked. A lot. She was brilliant company. As was Savuri - but more about her later. In fact - more about everything later. I have to go catch a ferry.
Anyway ... things are good right now. I'm happy : )
First off - the negatives. I still don't have a job. I got fucked around something chronic by Mount Stuart. I went to them for two different jobs - a catering assistant in their restaurant, and an admin assistant in their estate offices. Unfortunately, the head chef, in a bid to be helpful, told the admin woman that I was a historian and would be useful in the house. She meant it as a 'strong recommendation' but actually what happened was that the admin woman just took my name out of the running for the admin job and palmed my CV off to the woman in charge of the house - doing guided tours and whatnot. I never wanted to do guided tours of the house, but beggars can't be choosers after all. Unfortunately, when I got there, it turned out the job they were offering was 'room steward.' This didn't even involve talking to people about the house. It was a job mostly given to students in need of petty cash, on a call-in basis, and involves standing in rooms making sure people don't nick stuff, break stuff, or defecate in corners. The woman was pretty embarrassed about the mix-up, and I was fucked off. I couldn't go for the admin job because the interviews were happening on the same day. But the woman promised to hand my CV in to the office and, if something came up, I might be given a call.
Lo and behold, yesterday I missed a telephone call from Mount Stuart offices, asking me to call them back. So I did - this morning. I couldn't get hold of the right woman, so she was supposed to call back. She didn't, so I called again. Not in. Then she called me - and I missed her. So I called her. Out to lunch. Fuck's SAKE!! But eventually she got hold of me ... only to tell me that there were no jobs available, but thank you for coming for the interview.
Son of a BITCH. Like I didn't already fucking KNOW that. I knew that on the day, when we looked at each other and said "this job really isn't for you/me." And it was stupid to feel upset, but I tend to feel my hopes running away with me. I'm looking for some ideas of what's going to happen to my life - where it's going to be, what I'm going to be doing - and any sign of a plan fills me with reassurance. So to raise my hopes even a little only to have them dashed is a bit of a kick in the teeth. And it's happened twice with Mount Stuart now. Bastardos.
BUT ... let's look at some positives.
1. Yesh is lovely.
2. I've had wonderful visits from friends - including Lime Basil and her ex, and from Geordie Maple. Geordie was particularly fun - we went up to Inveraray, climbed to the monument, had lunch at Loch Fyne, wandered the ruins of St Blanes on Bute, got pissed in the Anchor, and talked. A lot. She was brilliant company. As was Savuri - but more about her later. In fact - more about everything later. I have to go catch a ferry.
Anyway ... things are good right now. I'm happy : )
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