Thursday, 11 November 2010

I can be found at:

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

The End of Things

Dear all.

This is the end of Life of a Wastrel. I'm starting afresh and anew. Thanks to those who read, and those who followed, and those who commented.

If anyone would like to follow my new blog, feel free to email me at:

and I'll give you a link.

Ta and goodnight.


Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Mallorca Fun

Hey all. I'm in Mallorca, sitting in the piazza in Santanyi with Yesh and her friend, and her friend's partner. I don't have names for them yet because I only met them yesterday. Yesh's pal is German, her partner Italian, but they both speak good English. Not good enough to understand my sense of humour, but I'm sure we'll overcome that by the end of the week.

Yesterday we arrived. Yesh came from Geneva, because she's been to her step-brother's wedding in Zurich. Madly, she'd managed to think it was in Geneva - because that's where the cheap flights to Mallorca flew from - so she had to get a train from Geneva to Zurich. Then back to Geneva to fly to Mallorca. Anyway, I'd missed her like mad, and it was fantastic meeting up with her in the airport.

Then we had to get a bus from Palma airport into Palma, then a bus from Palma to Santanyi. This all went without a hitch, and we were met in Santanyi by Yesh's friends. They took us to the house - a traditional Mediterranean town house. Cool dark, with a little courtyard out back. There's no air conditioning, which is fine by me. Air conditioning always gives me a rotten cold. No fans, either though ... which might be a bit more problematic.

Anyway, we unpacked and then were taken to the beach for a swim and a sunbathe. Yesh and I swam out to an offshore rock and back again, before clambering out and joining the nudests in sunbathing. I must say, I ain't no prude but it is a bit of a shock to be introduced to a complete stranger's labia when she bends down to pick up her towel. A towel, incidentally, that she has no intention of wearing. Yesh was very excited to have seen her first sunburned cock and sunburned 'fandango' in the same day. It's always good when you have new experiences.

Then to the supermarket to buy provisions (a relatively hideous experience) and home for dinner. Yesh and I were dropping with death-tiredness by the end of supper so went straight to bed and were soon snoring.

This morning was delightfully lazy. We lay in bed and talked, then I made scrambled eggs and we had them in the courtyard. The others had just left as we emerged, off to get some espresso at the piazza, so after we ate we came here and joined them.

And that's that. Hm. This isn't really a particularly interesting post. But there we go. I've been so lax for so long, I'd be surprised if anyone's reading it any more. Pretty egotistical to stick this stuff on the internet anyway. Wonder why I do it? Thought for another day.

Hope cyberflowers in the cyberworld are blooming for anyone who stops by.


Wednesday, 14 July 2010

More Good Things

Yeah. Good things. There are a lot of them. To go into mote detail, when Geordie Maple was here & I was driving about the place I gelt the first stirrings of love for Bute. Yes, there's very little potential for a job and there are still moments when I wonder what the hell I'm doing here, but now - on this upswing - the world's a beautiful place.

Another good thing: Suvari.

I've been emailing her on and off for a few
months now. She's in the UK from South Africa and we struck up a real rapport on email and MSN. There are some rare people you just connect with. Meet their mind. Her sense of humour, her darkness, her touch of oddity are all so similar to mine it's almost like meeting a reflection. Only nicer.

She came up for a visit and I took her for a jaunt about the countryside in truly shitty weather. She made me laugh - a lot. And I appreciate that more than I can possibly say, right now. We also talked several hind legs off several donkeys, ate with gusto at the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar, and laughed our heads off at the Inveraray jail. No, we didn't get arrested. It's a tourist attraction, complete with compulsory poor-bastard-actors who have to pretend to be inmates and end up being mocked by South African lesbians.

After lunch we went to Benmore and walked through the gardens in a downpour until we sought shelter under a beech tree and lay on our backs listening to the rain pattering on the leaves. We were (almost) perfectly dry. The smell from the earth was dark and warm, and the grey light was almost luminous. One of those moments where you don't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. It was just lovely.

So, yes. Suvari. She is a very good thing.


It's been a while since blogging, and it seems wise to get some thoughts down on the blogosphere. Recent events have made me feel a bit more settled, and I'm feeling more positive than I have in a while. This isn't to say it won't all plummet to a miserable low in another 12 seconds - but hey, that's living, eh?

First off - the negatives. I still don't have a job. I got fucked around something chronic by Mount Stuart. I went to them for two different jobs - a catering assistant in their restaurant, and an admin assistant in their estate offices. Unfortunately, the head chef, in a bid to be helpful, told the admin woman that I was a historian and would be useful in the house. She meant it as a 'strong recommendation' but actually what happened was that the admin woman just took my name out of the running for the admin job and palmed my CV off to the woman in charge of the house - doing guided tours and whatnot. I never wanted to do guided tours of the house, but beggars can't be choosers after all. Unfortunately, when I got there, it turned out the job they were offering was 'room steward.' This didn't even involve talking to people about the house. It was a job mostly given to students in need of petty cash, on a call-in basis, and involves standing in rooms making sure people don't nick stuff, break stuff, or defecate in corners. The woman was pretty embarrassed about the mix-up, and I was fucked off. I couldn't go for the admin job because the interviews were happening on the same day. But the woman promised to hand my CV in to the office and, if something came up, I might be given a call.

Lo and behold, yesterday I missed a telephone call from Mount Stuart offices, asking me to call them back. So I did - this morning. I couldn't get hold of the right woman, so she was supposed to call back. She didn't, so I called again. Not in. Then she called me - and I missed her. So I called her. Out to lunch. Fuck's SAKE!! But eventually she got hold of me ... only to tell me that there were no jobs available, but thank you for coming for the interview.

Son of a BITCH. Like I didn't already fucking KNOW that. I knew that on the day, when we looked at each other and said "this job really isn't for you/me." And it was stupid to feel upset, but I tend to feel my hopes running away with me. I'm looking for some ideas of what's going to happen to my life - where it's going to be, what I'm going to be doing - and any sign of a plan fills me with reassurance. So to raise my hopes even a little only to have them dashed is a bit of a kick in the teeth. And it's happened twice with Mount Stuart now. Bastardos.

BUT ... let's look at some positives.

1. Yesh is lovely.
2. I've had wonderful visits from friends - including Lime Basil and her ex, and from Geordie Maple. Geordie was particularly fun - we went up to Inveraray, climbed to the monument, had lunch at Loch Fyne, wandered the ruins of St Blanes on Bute, got pissed in the Anchor, and talked. A lot. She was brilliant company. As was Savuri - but more about her later. In fact - more about everything later. I have to go catch a ferry.

Anyway ... things are good right now. I'm happy : )

Tuesday, 8 June 2010


So here I am, on Bute. Except I'm not, I'm at Yesh's place. I only got electricity and gas today because the previous tenant had left a big debt on the meter and it needed to be wiped before I could get a new meter key. Yawn. Still, it was relatively painless in the end.

Ok, I'm feeling a bit daunted. I think it'll be better once I'm properly settled in and starting to make a routine for myself, but so far it's been a bit ... up in the air. Plus I have to go back to the east coast for this interview on Monday, and to Edinburgh and Dollar for fun & frolicks next weekend. I'm really looking forward to the fun, but it isn't allowing me time to really get settled. Ach. It'll be grand.

The flat, in fact, is lovely. It's suffered a bit from being empty for a while, but a bit of a spring clean and it'll be grand. Maybe some paint. But it's light and airy and there's a wonderful view over the bay. Alas, no broadband and practically no mobile reception as yet. I'm writing this from my iPhone while Yesh cooks, and it's a bit of a tortuous process. The blogging, not the cooking.

The old digestive troubles are back, alas. It's just the stress. It'll pass as soon as I chill out.

A small blog just to stay up to date. More when cilvilisation comes to Bute.

Friday, 4 June 2010

Movin' On.

Well, it's been a while, eh?

Life moves on at its own pace, and I can't say I really know what's going on all the time. I'm still a bit emotionally fragile and find myself struggling at random times - but I'm moving upwards and onwards. Well, ok - I'm moving. The direction is a little ambiguous.

I've been spending a lot of time on the West coast with Yesh, and now I'm moving to Bute for 3 months. I'll be a lot closer to her, but she's not the only reason I'm going. Firstly there's the fact that, if I want to salvage a relationship with Fisher - and I do - I really don't think living with her is a good idea. Secondly, I want to think about the rest of my life and what I'm going to do with it. I run over and over things, but what I come back to every time is writing. So I'm finding a quiet spot in the world where I can concentrate on finishing a novel, and if I can't manage to get something finished then it's a good sign I never will.

Of course, sod's law strikes at the most inopportune times. Having decided to head to Bute for 3 months I received a letter from Historic Scotland regarding a job I applied for months ago. I'd figured they'd put me on the discard pile ages ago - but no. I've got an interview on the 15th June. It's for a position as a monument manager for St Vigeans up near Arbroath. It would be 4 days a week, still leaving me time to write and massage. But it's over an hour's commute from my house every day ... and then there's the fact I don't really know where things are going with Yesh. I don't fancy the idea of seeing her only at the weekends. But it's only for a year's contract, so I could probably cope. More distressing is the thought they'll want me to start before I've come back from Bute. I really, really want these 3 months. I really want to see if I can live alone, and write a book, and what's happening with Yesh.

Still - no point in panicking over what might be. I need to get the interview under my belt before I even have to worry about what to do if I actually get the job. And I don't really think I will, to be honest. It's not like I've got any experience at managing anything at all - and couple that with how ridiculously far away I live, I don't think I'm the ideal candidate. Never mind. It was nice to get an interview. Makes me feel less unemployable.

Everything's happened fast, hasn't it? Fisher and I are both moving on, physically and emotionally - and the future doesn't seem quite as terrifying. I mean ... it's pretty terrifying. Just not as terrifying as it was.

I hope anyone reading this is feeling happy and wholesome, fulfilled and with bright plans on the horizon.