Monday, 15 March 2010

2010. The Year That Sucked.

Location: In the library, on my lonesome.
Mood: Fucking depressed.
Listening to: Won't Lie
Reading: Beyond Good and Evil

Right, so, this is tricky.

Unfortunately, Fisher and I are no longer a couple. It seems harsh to post this on the blogosphere, but it's fact. I'm not going to go into details, and everything is extremely raw and painful, but things are progressing. I don't know whether they're progressing for better or worse, but they go on - as does life. Which is a shame, as I'd quite like it to take a break for a while, then wake up and have all this shit over with. I'm to blame. Fisher did nothing. All things changed in me.

At the moment, Fisher is in a mysterious location, leaving me alone at home. This is only right and proper. I've been doing enough darting about, so it's her turn to try and get some perspective. Of course, the problem of what to do next is first and foremost in our minds. How do we live? Together, in a platonic relationship? Or separately? What about the house? The dogs? Fisher's workshop?

So hard. Fuck. So, so hard.

I will keep blogging. I shouldn't have stopped, really. It's such a help in organising my thoughts, and I can write without getting too personal. So look out for more blogs coming this way.

Love to all.


Anonymous said...

I ache for you and Fisher. I don't know either of you except by your blogs, but through your writings, both of you brought interest and enjoyment to me during a terribly bleak time in my life. I so wish I had some salient piece of wisdom that would make it hurt less. I don't. To the degree that it occasionally helps when a stranger winces with you, aches in mute sympathy, or gives you a hug when you have executed a faceplant on the concrete sidewalk, I am flinging such nostrums into the ether towards you and Fisher.

Seshat said...

Thank you. The nostrums help. Anything helps. Love to you.