Monday, 6 October 2008

Food - O Why Are You So Good?

So, I managed to order fish at Janus's birthday party!


Unfortunately, I failed to realise it would be deep fried and covered in crispy, crispy goodness.


I also failed to resist pudding, or a small vat of alcohol, which left me feeling quite unpleasant the next day. On the other hand, it was a very fine evening of fun and yammer with all my best pals, so sod it.

During the course of the evening, a conversation cropped up that has cropped up before. It's a bone of considerable contention between me and the rest of the Cheese Board, so I think it's about time I addressed it in Blog form.

If a Higher Power were to descend to earth and declare you able only to consume EITHER potatoes OR rice, but not both - which would you choose?

I have always said I would choose rice. Potatoes are heavenly in all their forms - but the thought of going without them doesn't fill me with the sort of horror as forgoing all rice forever more. Yea, verily, I love rice. It's all the flavours I assosciate with rice that are so joyous, so clean and fragrant: ginger, lemongrass, soya sauce, coriander ... the list goes on. How could I live without them?

"I have only one thing to say to you," Koios said, belligerantly.

"And that is?"


But no, I wouldn't be swayed. I was insulted, scorned, mocked and spat upon - but my course remains true. Rice is the food of my soul, and I'll stand by it.

In fact, I'm standing by it to such an extent that I have GIVEN UP POTATOES. Yes folks, just to see if I'm right, I'm going on a spud-free diet. I cannot consume it in any form - not baked, boiled, mashed, roasted, sautéed, Dauphinoised, au gratinated. I cannot let past my lips: chips, crisps, potato waffles, hash browns ... you get the idea. Spuds are OUT.

On the other hand, I can eat bread, pasta, noodles, tortillas, and, of course, rice. Riiiice. Oh - and, because they're only distantly related to potatoes, sweet potatoes (yams) are ok too. Unless someone wants to object, of course, in which case, to save argument I'd cut them out as well.

The ban on spuds will last for at least 2 weeks, but for as a long as I wish to implement it in order to either prove my point, or fall on my starchy sword and admit I am WRONG.

So there. And now on to the dullness that is the food diary.


Breakfast: 1 bowl crunchy nut cornflakes, skimmed milk, coffee.
Lunch: 1/2 bowl Mexican corn chowder, 1/2 bagel with cream cheese & smoked salmon.
Supper: Stir fry chicken and noodles. Pudding: mug hot chocolate, piece tablet.

Result? I feel fat and sick.