Not to put too fine a point on it, but ...

Fuck.

Just got on the scales. Since my lightest, I've put on 9 pounds. Yes, 9 pounds. Granted, I got down to my lightest owing to a nasty tummy bug, but even from my healthy lightest I've put on about half a stone. It's time for some drastic action.

Yes folks. I'm going back on a Diet.

See the capital 'D'? Indeed. It's a proper one. This means that I'll be going back to monitoring what I eat and noting it down in extraordinarily dull fashion in my blog. Seeing as I'm here already, I might as well put down what I've had so far today:

Breakfast - 2 slices white toast with Clover. 1 small vat of coffee. Skimmed milk, 2 sweeteners. To save me writing that last bit down every time, when I say 1 coffee it means with skimmed milk and 2 sweeteners, unless specified. Clear? Good.

Lunch - 30g bowl crunchy nut cornflakes. Skimmed milk.

That is all.

Unfortunately, we're off out to Edinburgh for Janus's 31st birthday tonight (unfortunately for my diet - otherwise, yay!) and being on a diet in a restaurant is just Boresville - for everyone. I shall endeavor to have fish, and no pudding.

Ha. Fat - literally - chance. I am weak.