Thursday, 26 March 2009

Island Trip Part 9

Not much to report today, so you'd think I wouldn't bother - but hey, it's me, and if I have a keyboard and 10 minutes to spare, the opportunity to dribble nonsense into the ether is irresistible.

Wreck went off to play with a school chum today, so we were blissfully kiddie free from just before noon til 3. We spent that time having lunch at the Island Café and putting some more thought into the island Treasure Hunt.


I've been sitting here on my bed listening to the playful sounds of children in the bath, and bloody hell if it hasn't all kicked off! I think Sister just wants to wash Gem's hair, and he has gone from 0-60 in microseconds. It's a full on tantrum, with "I hate yous" and even hitting out. Sister has kept very calm, which is more than I would have done in that situation. With the hitting out she threatened him with a week of no TV, but to no avail. He even shouted "I hope you DIE." Christ, don't children say the funniest things ...

Right - it's a couple of hours later and all is peaceful. After his appalling behaviour, Gem was left to calm down in the bath while Fisher tried to get Wreck into bed. He was quite upset by Gem's outburst, though, and wouldn't go - he just wandered around, naked, getting cuddles from Mummy. I decided to help Fisher out, and coaxed him in by a) pretending to be The Bedtime Monster and making him giggle and b) promising to tell him a Power Rangers story. Christ. That was possibly my least imaginative story ever - but thank God for the research I'd done earlier. Knew it would come in useful.

In the middle of the next story - Mr Stick - I heard Gem start creeping out of the bathroom. I ignored him. He shouted "boo". I continued with Mr Stick. He sidled into the bedroom slowly, slowly, until his toe was touching mine. I kept reading, until he eventually crept round to sit on Wreck's bottom bunk. I moved the book round so he could see the pictures and we finished the story together.

At the end of the story, he said:

"I heard you telling a Power Rangers story. Can you tell it again?"

Knowing that Gem's knowledge of Power Rangers is encyclopaedic, and that he's getting to the stage where his favourite game is correcting me, I refused to recite it again. Wreck didn't want to hear it anyway, so for their 3rd tale of the night I promised them a Magic Hiccups Story. This involves the inconvenient habit Wrecker has developed of giving a sudden loud hiccup, which whisks Gem and Wrecker away to a distant land, sometimes a distant time or even a distant planet, frequently landing them in hot water. It's a bit like Quantum Leap meets Arabian Nights - and this time I decided to send them to Ancient Egypt to meet the boy pharaoh Tutankhamun. I chose this because Gem has a book on the very subject, and I thought it would appeal. Unfortunately, half way through I became aware that I'd embarked on a bit of an epic. Twenty minutes later I ended tale before it got totally out of hand.

Have you ever tried speaking solidly for 20 minutes? It's not as easy as it sounds. It's definitely not as easy as it sounds if you've got a sore throat and barely functioning vocal chords.

Anyway, Gem found little to complain about in the story, and went to sleep swiftly afterwards.

I should mention, at this point, that half way through the story Fisher interrupted me to insist that Gem apologise to his mother for the dreadful way in which he'd spoken to her. He was very unwilling to do so, but we managed to persuade him and he went to her room and said sorry. After that, Sister went out to see the neighbours and borrow a spud or two for the top of our shepherd's pie. Fisher encouraged her to take her time about it, so she got to enjoy a glass of wine and a bit of chat before returning to the house. I think Gem really did upset her. I know he's only 5, but he sure as hell knows how to wound you. Kudos to her for remaining so calm. I would have totally lost my rag - and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have helped at all.

Anyway - time to go and get supper. Catch you tomorrow.