Double or Quits

Location: In bed shaking off the mild hangover and trying to stay warm

Mood: Resigned

Music: Cemeteries of London

Ok, so the diet didn't go so well. For the record, Pro did quite well, shedding 8lbs, although nobody's entirely sure how he did it. Bastard. But, anyway, we all would have lost the bet badly and been forced to do our forfeits has we not agreed to go double or quits. This time, we've given ourselves until December 19th to lose the weight. I have to lose a stone, not including the 4lbs I shifted (god, so rubbish) already. Pro has to get down to his target weight, which involves losing 13lbs, and Spartan has to lose a stone, including whatever he's lost now. After all, he doesn't have much to spare, so more than a stone and he'd start resembling chewed string. And the punishment? Well, it's the same as before (no PlayStation for me, no TV for the boys) only this is where the 'double' part comes in. Yes folks, if we fail it's a 6 month ban.

6 months!! There is NO WAY I'm letting that happen.

The superb news is that Janus has screwed her courage to the sticking plate and joined in. She only has a 3 month punishment if she loses - but if she doesn't lose more than 8lbs she has to do the full 6 months.

I've been pissing about with this diet for ages, but it's got to a point where I have to take it seriously. I'm 33 years old on the 15th, and the days where my body repairs itself from all the abuse I give it are over. The damage I do to myself now is the damage that will stay with me forever - and I've already fucked me back pretty badly. I have - have - to start looking at losing the weight, else my posture will only get worse and my back problems increase. Doing circuits every Thursday (not yesterday though - had the neighbours round for supper) is really good for my pathetic core muscles, and if I can just find the energy to do 2 more days of exercise every week things should start improving. I'd love to play squash or tennis with Spar once a week, even if it does mean a drive all the way to Edinburgh, and then a run/swim/bike in the gym would finish things off nicely. To be fair, I ought to do at least 2 runs a week, but I do so hate it. As long as I stay fit, that's the most important thing.

I'd been doing pretty well over the last few days, and had even dropped another couple of pounds, bringing my total loss up to 6lbs. That was yesterday. I'm not getting on the scales today - at least, not until I've been to the gym with Fisher (who's doing 10 miles, as part of her 1/2 marathon training). I really, really don't want to go. My parents are turning up at some unspecified time today, and I should be here to greet them - and Blar is coming up this afternoon with Baby Belle, stopping over on her way up north for a wedding. I want to be in good fettle to enjoy their company. But, more to the point, I'm cold, tired and crabby and the LAST THING I want to do is go and pound pavements around the gym, or swim, or get sweaty in any way.

But there are 3 things that make me reluctantly determined to go. Firstly, there's the fact that Fisher is going to be running for over an hour and a half - and like Janus says, if your partner does exercise you just end up feeling crap for not having gone with them.

Secondly, there's the fact we had Epona and Shah over for supper last night. I cooked a game stew - rabbit, venison, partridge, pheasant - which was supposed to be lean, dietary food. Unfortunately I added about 50g of butter - and we drank 2 bottles of wine between the 3 of us. Ok, 1 3/4s of a bottle and 2 whiskies each, but it's the same unit content. Now, you may think that 50g of butter between 4 people is a laughable amount, but we also had mashed potatoes flavoured with butter, and courgettes cooked in - you guessed it - butter. So we were a bit buttertastic. But does it end there? It does not. For I cooked a pudding: baked ginger cheesecake, involving crushed digestive biscuits (with butter), ricotta AND cream cheese. Stem ginger and ginger syrup added the flavouring. It went down well, but I overcooked the biscuit crumbs so I think they have a very faint bitterness to them which is a shame. More shameful is the fact I had 2 slices, with ginger and whisky cream accompaniment.

It's all too horrible. I mean, I tried to amend my food intake for the rest of the day (muffin for breakfast, not much else) but I'm definitely not letting the scales depress me until I have a chance to work some of it off.

And what's the 3rd motivation? Frankly, it's the knowledge that Janus is going great guns at the gym, pool, and on the pavements of Edinburgh, and if she can do it then I owe it to her to be just as diligent. I want us both to reach our targets. This isn't a competition, it's a challenge, and if she fails and I succeed I won't be happy. We've both got to do it! So, like it or not, I'm off to the gym.

Adios.