Diet Another Day

Will someone tell me what the FUCK is going on?

I have been an immaculate dieter for the last week, and yet I simply cannot shift any goddamned weight. Yesterday I ate this:

No breakfast (BAD Seshat)
Bean salad for lunch
1 tiny, end-of-baguette sandwich with tiny bit of ham, Boursin and sundried tomatoes
1 banana
Teriyaki pork and veg for supper.

The reason I had the teeny tiny sarnie was because I was playing a 3 1/2 hour tennis match and I needed some fuel to get through it, so excuuuuuuse me!

And the net result of all the exercise and starvation?

THIS MORNING I HAVE PUT ON A POUND!!!

There is no earthly way I'm getting to a 10lb loss by Saturday, and it's pretty much guaranteed that I've lost this motherfucking bet, which means no computer games for 3 months. I can see why a lot of chubbers would just throw in the towel at this point and stuff their faces full of cake, but I shall persevere. I was going to have a rest day today after the tennis, but I think I'll go to the gym instead and do half an hour - to make myself feel better, if nothing else.