Sunday, 20 April 2008

A True Friend Would Diet For You ...

Yesterday I ate a bunch of things. (I'm quite bored of writing it all down. In brief: one piece toast, no butter. Prawn caesar salad. Baked potato with tuna mayo and Clover. Snacks - v v poor - 3 teeny tiny Cadbury's treats of a Twirl, a bag of tiny buttons, and a tiny Dairy Milk. Also 6 small squares of Green & Blacks. Yes, I am aware that pointing out how tiny things are doesn't make them any the less chocolatey.)

More importantly, I had a lovely day. I met my ladies in waiting for coffee, then went to the dressmaker to talk frocks. She was quite bossy, as is the wont of most dressmakers, and I found myself being relatively brusque in my refusals to countenance various of her suggestions. I came in with a picture I quite fancied, but it proved impractical for numerous reasons - not least the fact that it would cost seven hundred million pounds to make, being made entirely of goooooold. Instead I was shown a truly lovely fabric which I will say nothing of, because Koios will spank me if I let it slip, but I'm very happy with it and it's a colour I know suits me.

We made further appointments for me, also for Phid and Koi (my two lovely ladies in waiting, who will draw all the attention away from me by being far more beautiful, thank God), and then skipped off to window shop and force Phid into dresses she wouldn't normally have chosen in a billion years in a search for inspiration. It was great fun. I hate shopping for me, but I do love shopping for other people. It gives me a chance to point and say: "Lud, m'dear, hast tha' seen the size of your b'ttocks in that?" (Not really. Phid has no b'ttocks to speak of and looked infuriatingly splendid in everything.) We came out with some good ideas ... well, I did, anyway. Of course, whether Phid takes any of them on board is entirely her own choice.

Then we had lunch at Tigerlily, feeling very much like ladies who, well, lunch, in fact. Phid said she was rather at a loss as to what to do with the afternoon, but felt we ought to go to the gym and have an affair. Not, presumably, with each other, though.

We parted ways after lunch, and I headed home to Fisher. It was strange not being able to chat about my outfit with her, but rather fun, too. It'll be lovely to give her a surprise On The Day, and even lovelier if it's a pleasant one, for a change. I'm sure with Koios and Phid on hand to blow-torch me into respectability I might manage to look, if not glamorous, then at least less like I've fallen off the back of a truck and bounced repeatedly.

Now, would you like to know what this young, dynamic play-girl of the western world has done with her Sunday?

Y es folks - she went antiquing!

I am so, so, so, so, so very old. Antique, in fact. And now I'm back home, the dogs most disgruntled because they haven't had a decent walk, and the high octane Sunday continues with blogging, listening to Richard Thompson (1952 Vincent Black Lightning - which is reminding me to get some motorbike lessons) and waiting for the bath water to get hot.

I'll just close with the fact that I've managed to put on 3 pounds over the last week. Actually, I put on 5, and have lost 2 overnight. I think it's all water retention, but I blame the Burger King milkshake from last Monday. Eeeeevil. (Also the dim sum, but we won't mention that.)

Off now. Tata.